New Year’s Resolutions for a Sunday League Player/ Charlie Johnson

Over Christmas we will all sit down and think about how 2012 went and how we would like to change in 2013. Here are some thoughts to consider when creating your New Year’s resolution list…

NY resolution 1- I will last 90 minutes….

No matter what sport you play, it seems to be that in January most people will vow to get fitter. Some join a gym, others take up fitness classes and some decide to train in the great outdoors. Think about the pain you suffer every Monday, when you can hardly walk after Sunday’s match. Or maybe your coach shouted at you for having a stitch after just 10 minutes on the pitch, in your last game. It’s the New Year so why not make it a new you.

You did try this one last year though. You turned up to the gym and it was rammed, the fitness classes had a four week waiting list. You even attempted to train outside, but it gets dark so early you simply didn’t have time after work.

It’s simple, this year why not exercise at home with a WII Fit or Xbox Connect. There are plenty of games to get you jumping about and it is actually pretty knackering!  

NY resolution 2- I will stop throwing up at half time….

It’s been a long hard week of work and you have even had to work a Saturday for the fourth week running. It is also a mate’s birthday and there is another big night out planned, again for the fourth week running. You decide this week you will just go out for a couple. Despite your plans to stay fresh for Sundays match, peer pressure leads to several vodka cokes and shots. Soon its 3am and you are dancing to the Gangnam style and telling strangers that you love them.

The next day you wake up with the worst hangover ever. Your coach isn’t angry he’s disappointed, your shooting is off and you can’t stop throwing up at half time.

This year why not ban yourself from drinking on Saturday nights? I know what you are thinking- “my mates will call me a granny if I don’t drink.”

A great tip to balance up your “street cred” with your playing performance is to instead of drinking Vodka ‘n’ Coke, drink Coke. Instead of doing shots of Vodka, order shots of water. If you buy your own drinks all night you’re mates won’t know and you will look like a hero both off and on the pitch.   

NY resolution 3- I will treat refs and linos like they are my bff’s…

For most of us passion can get in the way of logic and we can forget that refs don’t have a replay to watch. Most of the time they are giving up their Sunday to help out the beautiful game. Sometimes, however we do come across the 90 year old refs, who simply don’t know when to retire. Or the linos that just can’t accept your goal went in, against their daughter’s team and call it offside.

Referees are an essential part of the game though, so why not make it your New Year’s resolution to bite your tongue and let your skills do the talking.

It’s simple, next time they give a decision you disagree with, give them a hug and tell them you know it’s a hard job and you still love them.    

NY resolution 4- I will make my boots feel loved…

The match is over and you have changed back into your clothes, but as usual you simply can’t be bothered to clean your boots. The following Sunday you open your boot bag, to what can only be described as the gateway to hell, with a smell that gets right in the back of your throat.

This year why not make your boots feel loved again by keeping them pristine. It’s simple, hire a school kid to clean them after every match and call it work experience, whilst you go down the pub!  

NY resolution 5- I will help the women’s game grow, by telling everyone its great…

These days the promotion of women’s football is certainly better than it was, especially with the recent success of England and GB Ladies Football team. There are still a few people that need to wake up to the 21st century though, so why not include this in your new year’s resolutions.

How about telling five different people, every day one fact about the greatness of women’s football? A few examples below to help you out…

Example 1: Sleazy guy in bar comes to chat you up…. 

Sleazy guy: “I seemed to have lost my number, any chance I could have yours?”

You: “talking of numbers, did you know FIFA recently confirmed that across the world, 29million females play football?”

Example 2: Angry boss at work….

Angry boss “I hope for your sake you finished that report? I’d hate to have to fire you, the staff turnover of the company is already high!”

You:  “Talking of turnovers, did you know that Hope Powel has been the England Ladies manager since 1998. Whilst the men’s team have seen at least 6 management turnovers in this time?”

So get working on those resolutions.

Happy New Year!

Charlie Johnson

SHE KICKS – the online community for women’s football